Maybe I'm PMSing.

Poor AT&T Universal Card.   But seriously.   Fix your damn site.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Dear Universal Card Customer Service,

Every month I pay your company via your website, but this month my login information was rejected as “incorrect.”   The truth was that you were forcing everyone to re-register, but your misleading error message wasted several minutes of my time & a significant amount of my patience while I tried to figure out a nonexistent login mistake.

When I finally discovered that I needed to re-register, I attempted it.   I was not only asked for the security code on my credit card which I cut up several months ago (you guys bumped up my rates for a single, lonely late payment in I don’t know how many years of timeliness), but also a “security word.”   Another misleading turn of phrase, which had me utterly confused, thinking it was one of the answers to the multiple “security questions” I had set up when I first registered at your site: my favorite song, my pet’s name, my 1^st grade teacher’s last name, etc.   When in actuality it was the single most common, traditional word used for every banking or credit institution; so common that it’s not even called anything --- they just ask “mother’s maiden name please.”

More time & patience wasted.   Why do you want to do this to your customers?   How does wasting our time benefit your business?

When I got your CSR on the phone I was asked for a “password,” which, in utter consistency with your company’s communication skills so far, actually was the same as the “security word.”   More wasted time while I insisted I did not know of any “password,” & he then explained that it was my mother’s maiden name, & then had to explain that it was called different things depending on where you were.   I was a total bitch & probably ruined at least a few minutes of his day.   But in the end I apologized because I realized that this was not really his fault.   It’s the fault of whatever dickhead in your company that set up the various communications on your website & at your phone center.   Whoever he or she or they are either need to finish up whatever ESL courses he or she or they have left to complete, or go work for the circus where they have clowns who are actually hired to play jokes on people.

Enclosed is my payment for this month.   Your poor, unfortunate CSR & demonstrably powerless Tech Support guy are sending me a new card, with which I will re-register at your website before cutting it up again.  

I am writing to let your know that you are blocking your customers’ attempts to give you money.   Frankly I think you should refund me the postage.   Please give up the “mystery & intrigue” approach; all I wanted to do today was pay you.

Dead-Fast

This stuff works. That's all I have to say.

Crossword With A Pen.

There's Judy Garland taking Buddha by the hand
And then these 7 little men get up to dance
They say Confucius does his crossword with a pen...

When Blogchex unceremoniously collapsed, I began writing The Long Way Home again here on Blogger, but my dear friend & fellow music geek O-Dogg made himself a nest at Wordpress.

And it ate at me.

I wanted a blog at Wordpress too.

So, secretly, I started writing there. I didn't even tell O-Dogg at first. I didn't tell anyone. I just wanted to see if I liked it, see if I had other things to write about that I didn't write about here at Blogger. I made the focus music, & I started writing. I had some random visitors who cheered me on. I found that I suddenly had blog diarrhea when it came to music.

When another music geek friend Keith began publishing his own blog I got this idea. I mean, I know Keith has virtual novels to write about music; we conduct music nerd discussion probably 50 times a month. And Crossword With A Pen became a group blog. There are 5 of us, although I'm currently the only one who's got the runs.

Anyway, I told Lara once she got her bio up there I'd actually tell people about it. So here it is.

Crossword With A Pen.

Steak.

Since my regular Beef Bowl place at Palama Market closed down, I've been on the look out for other alternatives to McDonalds. Even though they've got the McRib this month. According to the Blood Type Diet, potato is no good for us Type Os, so I've got to get some distance from those evil french fries.

It was a sojourn to Foodland for my grandmother's ice cream (I'm still lactose intolerant.) that caused me to park in the Foodland parking lot, get out of my car, & then walk directly into a charcoal, spice, & beef-flavored smoke.

It's like Huli Huli Chicken. Only better; it's steak.

I wasn't hugely impressed with the steak plates we used to eat in the airport area, although it was still pretty good. However, immersion in steak-enhanced smoke is a great persuader. And, it was about time for lunch anyway.

Those steaks looked about as good as they smelled. I don't get to hibachi very often, & I'd have to say that the smell of grilling steaks is one of the most festive, happy smells I can think of.

Could these guys do rare? Absolutely they could, by request. Did I remember to arrange for the rare steak? No, I forgot. The smell was just too enticing. I can't think when I'm salivating. Also, the ice cream was melting.

Not only were these boys cooking up the food I was brought up on (this & spaghetti; it's all I can remember), but they were also frying up another favorite food: shrimp!

(Shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.)

Turns out these guys are a completely different company from the other steak plate stands I saw at other supermarkets. Apparently all the money changing was done inside Foodland, so I went inside to order my lunch as well as interrogate the friendly guy at the Steak Table.

Ono Hawaiian Steaks has stands at various Foodlands on various days, from 10am-6pm. Their schedule is kinda crazy:

Tuesday: Beretania
Wednesday: Mililani
Thursday: Market City & Koko Marina
Friday: Ewa Beach

A steak plate, or steak & shrimp plate, is $6.50 & comes with an ice cold can of soda (Diet Coke, my elixir of life.). You can also buy a 1 lb steak by itself.

Surf & Turf for me, please.

Steak & shrimp plate obtained, I hurried outside to enjoy the sunshine & devour my delicious-smelling food. There was a table of condiments including Tabasco shoyu, but I was starving at this point. Who cared about the ice cream. At first glance I remembered I had forgotten to request my steak rare, but quite frankly the slices of beef looked great... medium.

I can't remember the last time I ate steak medium. I think it was at Morton's, & I had ordered rare. You'd think at Morton's you could get rare.

Anyway.

Under the shade of the Foodland parking lot trees, with the scent of charcoal still on the air, I sat down on a bench with my steak & shrimp & an ice-dripping can of Diet Coke.

I've been lucking out like a madwoman lately. This was awesome steak, & believe you me, I am a steakologist. It was soft, aromatic, with just enough fat. The lack of blood wasn't an issue. I could see that the beef had been heartily seasoned, but to be honest, I couldn't identify the seasoning exactly.

But it was very, very good. I'd like to learn this seasoning mix. No, they wouldn't tell me.

I highly recommend this place. The tough part is being in the right parking lot at the right time.

See you guys at Beretania Foodland on Tuesday.

I got the ice cream home ok, btw.

Chie!

Remember this? That was in May.




This is from August.






Jack & Chie are doing well; this month we had some fleas & Chie had tapeworms, but that's been handled. Not too bad. I also don't know what happened to the font option on this editor but whatever.

I continue to hate on Yelp.

Recently I got an earful from a friend who felt I was unwise to post this. Believe it or not, it actually wasn't Darren. But while my friend had good points, my beef with Yelp remains.

Nothing further has resulted from Yelp's enabling, but the very principle that this company is based on just bothers me.

Recently I joined Yelp Sucks, which is basically a bunch of business owners & employees who want to vent about how Yelp wronged them. After reading various entries, I realized that here was a bunch of people who basically wouldn't even be here if their accounts on Yelp hadn't been deleted for one reason or another. "Please take me back, Yelp; please let me post on your site," was what the site topics (Yanked Account, Deleted Reviews) seemed to say.

And here I thought I was going to meet other people who want to destroy Yelp.

So much for that.

Here's my beef:

1. No accountability=chickenshit free-for-all. Yelp! is a website where people can create an account & then write reviews about various businesses. They are identified by their first name & last initial, which means basically nothing accountability-wise.

In the case of Mary M, one of these reviewers was able to post criticism of me, identifying me by name, in a review for the bar I work in, which made obvious where I worked. Luckily for me, Mary was so unique that I immediately knew who she was from reading her "review," & frankly, the bad press was desirable to me.

I immediately told Mary I knew who she was. Faced with the unexpected accountability, Mary cordially contacted me & apologized, editing out her bad review. To be honest, I wanted her review to remain the way it was, but the fact of the matter is if Yelp! users actually had to own up to whatever they said, they might not be saying it.

I don't support the Enabling Of Chickenshitness. That's what Yelp! does.

2. Momma's skirts for the attackers, prohibition of defense from the victims. In spite of reviews which not only publicly identify employees & (obviously) their location, defense responses are not allowed. My post responding to Mary was removed for "personal attack" (heh, irony).

When I responded, I knew that any reader would know who I was & could even show up at the bar when I worked to harrass me if so desired. I have no problem with accountability, & I have no problem with being accused of "personal attack." I do have a problem with an anonymous user being protected while attacking me. That's just --- you know --- not fair.

I should be allowed to hit back.

3. How Yelp! makes money. This is what really causes me anger. After providing the common man (or stalker or fat chick, whatever) with a weapon to attack businesses with, with the other hand Yelp! offers the attack victims defense tools... for a price.

It turns out that Yelp! does allow businesses to respond publicly to these kinds of attacks... if businesses pay them. For $150/month, businesses can post responses to reviews. In the comments at this article, a business owner said that Yelp! customer service offered him the ability to remove one bad review every 6 months... for $350/month.

No doubt I'm going to get another earful for posting this, but it's one of the prices of speaking one's mind. While there are those who dislike me for it, you can't say it's not fair. There's my picture there on the right. It was taken where I work & where you'll be able to find me tonight should you care to discuss anything with me.

You can also anonymously post your grievances with anything I've said in the comments below. Personal attacks are more than welcome.

You Hungry?

The mention of You Hungry brings up tasty visions of fresh corned beef & cabbage, succulent kalua pig, & steaming shoyu chicken, all in mom-style portions with big scoops of rice. I also recall it being on the corner of Atkinson & Kapiolani, where we'd wait patiently for a parking stall because the reward would be worth it.

You Hungry has since continued the tradition of good, real food under the new ownership of Joel Cabais (son of Jay Cabais, Honolulu steak plate pioneer), his brother Donovan, & cousin Jason of Ono Hawaiian Steak. Recently You Hungry went to the streets, winning Honolulu Magazine's Best Lunch Wagon for 2008. With the help of David Hayashi, they are now implementing plans for world domination.

Seriously. You gotta try their sauces.

When my brother told me he was taking me to lunch at a lunchwagon, I was a little skeptical. My experience with lunchwagons is pretty noobish. I remember visiting one by the boats near Ala Moana Beach Park perhaps 13 years ago, a lunchwagon outside Queens Physicians Office Building with my dad & I think I've gone to Tsukenjo's once. I'm a drive thru girl when it comes to lunch, mostly due to laziness.

Still, I trust my brother.

Around 12:30 (lunchtime) we found street parking on South Street practically in front of our lunch destination, in front of which there was already a line of 5-6 people, & a few others who had already ordered, or were perhaps just bathing in the enticing smell of hot food.

Lunchwagon menu boards intimidate me. I always think I want something, & then at the last minute I decide I want something else, but I'm not entirely sold on that something else & I can't really be 100% sure that's what I actually want, but I'm already at the front of the line & everyone is looking at me expectantly. So then I order what I'd decided on initially that I wanted to change my mind about. And then after I pay I figure out what it was that I actually wanted to order. But it's too late.

Maybe that's why I go to drive thrus. Anyway.

There were already a number of items already sold out on the lunchwagon menu board. Naturally, I immediately found something I'd like to eat amongst the sold out stuff (fresh corned beef!!).

We were moving ahead in line pretty fast & I had to make a decision.

My brother informed me he was going to order the Fried Ahi Poke, reassuring me he wouldn't be able to finish the whole thing.

And so there I was, & there was only one person left in front of us in line. My brother had already decided what he was going to order, but I still didn't know.

I considered the Roast Pork with gravy, but thought that might be too flagrantly unhealthy --- I'd have to come back here alone to order that. The Garlic Chicken sounded tempting, but I wasn't in a real chicken mood, & Crab Stuffed Salmon felt a little too adventurous.

I looked again, forlornly, at the bottom of the menu board where "Fresh Corned Beef w/ Cabbage" sported a little note saying "OUT." I thought of a few reasons why I didn't need to have Corned Beef for lunch today.

And then we were at the front of the line & the guy in the lunchwagon was looking at me.

My brother had ordered his Fried Ahi Poke, & was looking at me.

My mind went completely blank. I didn't know what I felt like eating. Everything sounded good. They were out of fresh corned beef. Ooh, Pork Adobo.

"I'll have the Hamburger Steak please," I said. "All rice. Brown rice. Thank you." Sheesh, I'm such a dork. I didn't even let him tell me I could have toss, but if I'd been a lunchwagon connoisseur I'd have known that tossed greens is a common plate lunch option.

Well, I handled that well.

Our plates came & we set up on the picnic table next to the wagon.

My brother had gotten me a small sample of You Hungry's secret recipe Sweet Wasabi sauce. Whoa.

I've had wasabi/mayo dressings that went well on burgers & wasabi/miso dips that added color to seafood, but this sauce was pure happiness just by itself. As I've said in other blogs, I'm not the huge sauce person; I like my food plain with minimal seasoning.

But this sauce tasted winz just on the tip of my finger. I was too busy enjoying the bright, expansive flavors to even try to deconstruct what I was tasting.

You could put this stuff on anything. Ok, maybe not ice cream. Worth a try anyway, though. It was good.

My brother's Fried Ahi Poke looked & smelled so good that I immediately felt like a loser. The chunks of ahi were soft & perfectly cooked, seasoned with some enchanting citrus flavor. If only I could order this by the bucket & take it to the bar!

Obviously my brother had been here before!

Resignedly I turned to my panic-ordered hamburger steak.

As I lifted the condensation-drenched lid I was greeted with the smell of rich, homemade brown gravy & beef. My hamburger steak was tender, meaty, & swimming in delicious gravy. I'm proud to say that I didn't make it through the rice. But that hamburger steak disappeared in its entirety.

That was really good. I made a good choice after all.

Either that, or there are no bad choices.

Monday thru Friday, 10am-1:30pm
Two locations: South & Halekauila, Alakea & Beretania.