Maybe I'm PMSing.

Poor AT&T Universal Card.   But seriously.   Fix your damn site.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Dear Universal Card Customer Service,

Every month I pay your company via your website, but this month my login information was rejected as “incorrect.”   The truth was that you were forcing everyone to re-register, but your misleading error message wasted several minutes of my time & a significant amount of my patience while I tried to figure out a nonexistent login mistake.

When I finally discovered that I needed to re-register, I attempted it.   I was not only asked for the security code on my credit card which I cut up several months ago (you guys bumped up my rates for a single, lonely late payment in I don’t know how many years of timeliness), but also a “security word.”   Another misleading turn of phrase, which had me utterly confused, thinking it was one of the answers to the multiple “security questions” I had set up when I first registered at your site: my favorite song, my pet’s name, my 1^st grade teacher’s last name, etc.   When in actuality it was the single most common, traditional word used for every banking or credit institution; so common that it’s not even called anything --- they just ask “mother’s maiden name please.”

More time & patience wasted.   Why do you want to do this to your customers?   How does wasting our time benefit your business?

When I got your CSR on the phone I was asked for a “password,” which, in utter consistency with your company’s communication skills so far, actually was the same as the “security word.”   More wasted time while I insisted I did not know of any “password,” & he then explained that it was my mother’s maiden name, & then had to explain that it was called different things depending on where you were.   I was a total bitch & probably ruined at least a few minutes of his day.   But in the end I apologized because I realized that this was not really his fault.   It’s the fault of whatever dickhead in your company that set up the various communications on your website & at your phone center.   Whoever he or she or they are either need to finish up whatever ESL courses he or she or they have left to complete, or go work for the circus where they have clowns who are actually hired to play jokes on people.

Enclosed is my payment for this month.   Your poor, unfortunate CSR & demonstrably powerless Tech Support guy are sending me a new card, with which I will re-register at your website before cutting it up again.  

I am writing to let your know that you are blocking your customers’ attempts to give you money.   Frankly I think you should refund me the postage.   Please give up the “mystery & intrigue” approach; all I wanted to do today was pay you.